Friday, July 14, 2006

These pages are mostly heat transfers again.

The word "would" has a gut impact for me. I 'would' do this if I were confident enough/thin enough/had enough money. He would be better to me if he didn't have such a messed up history. I would like to be so much more. Nasty self-talk.

When I write in my journal, I do a little here and there and turn the book sideways and write a little more. It's about process, not anyone ever being able to read the content. When I share my journals I usually invite readers to read for content. Because I want the glimpses of my life to resonate in others... for their feelings of normality and mine, I'm sure! But in my heart I know that nobody will be able to read my thoughts straight through, hardly ever, because of the mish-mash of the words. I find some comfort in this.

When I first started art journaling, I would write all my words and glue the pages together, or paint over the words, or cut the paper into lots of pieces and then glue the pieces randomly back in to my book. Maybe I've processed through the harder stuff, or maybe I am less afraid of my words now. I even hope that readers see some of the words and carry them, weave affirmations into their stories, and feel better about writing down their truths.

1 comment:

  1. I really need to learn to journal!!!! has been a while and yes the letting go is hard and then should you get it out and then cover it all up again??? then would defete the purpose of letting go and just saying what you feel and what needs to be said!!! I like to use pics and not always words!!! and need to go do that!!! so I will make an effort to do that! thanks love to read about your process and thoughts and feelings!!! helps!