Internal dialogues

I'm back after a break, company in town. The good news is I have been art journaling again! That means new pictures.

This page isn't quite done, I'll go back tomorrow and add some more texture/highlight color in certain places. I have been rambling on a theme about truth (and truthiness- for fellow Colbert fans). This page is about lies, the self-destructive kind that freeze me and prepave my course on certain paths. Like the way that I always cry when confronted with having to speak my mind/heart to people in authority. This is never about the situation, it's about the lie I tell myself about what people expect of me, how they are going to receive me, and my worthiness. Pop-psych talks about the internal tapes we play. The voices are so plastered that I don't even hear them, but I act subliminally on their messages.

Part of getting right for me- getting closer to the truth- is to identify and reject these internal messages. In this page, I listed some of these messages and their related truths.

Lie: I have to show I am smart and know what everyone in the room is talking about and answer questions intelligently or people will assume I am stupid and not like me.

(I started this page at gl's house, we had a nice few hours in her cozy art studio, I love to be creative when there is other creative spirit dancing in the room.)

Truth: Nobody knows everything, it's good to ask questions, people don't expect me to have all the answers, and the cool people I hang out with would not reject me for not knowing. I offer friends trust by not feeding this lie and by being myself.

(the garden gnome promises to help me crush my internal liar.)